yearbooks, emergen-cs, and bakwahalamooshulakatakanausawi

no one will comment my scandalous new myspace picture. and it's scandalous. photobooth brings out the best in us, so it does. i keep talking like the characters in the stephen king series i'm reading. the characters are so believable.. and they all die. it's real frustrating.

well, i keep playing my guitar and putting off my homework. my mom got some cinnamon life. i didn't know it existed but i LOVE IT. and i thought LIFE was good but THIS stuff.. i'm crazy. like in that movie, about a boy, the kid's mom makes him eat cereal called ancient grain. i like good movies.

song: circles
artist: soul coughing

it's a bit repetetive but i still love it. hm. diana was after school today for once, so i talked to her and we signed each other's yearbooks and laughed a lot and so that was like old times. but not quite.

nothing's the same. could anything just hold on for just a second so that i could get back on my feet.

don't ask me to be more specific. i'm talking about life, not anything specific.

go listen to cake. tell meghna that i recommended them because i need someone to smile really largely at me.

&&

i don't want to think about it
i don't want to talk about it
when i kiss your lips i want to sink down to the bottom of the sea

&&

what a delicious song.

long week

i don't really know, guys. sorry. i'll get back into the blog thing later.

last night's play was really good
but only because of the people in it
and the money joke

diana was amazing, amazing, amazing
and so were jordyn and mckenna and MADDY AND GRACE.
they owe me a pie, too. what will i do for them. HM.

pirates movie. it was okay. funny.
political. for all you people who conform to the liberal system.. yeah. pay attention at the end.

i'm confused.
tired.
i wrote a new song =]

brilliant.

i have managed to get at least five people to sign off at me and getting the last, angry word. so much fighting. so much english homework.

i suppose enough people know by now that you will all find out soon enough that i like nina. and, a lot of people are mad about that, too. but they won't tell me, of course. that's cool, then. anyone happen to have any idea why that's worth getting mad over?

you know i gotta keep it goin
keep it goin full steam
too sweet to be sour
too nice to be mean



soon all the joy that pours from everything
makes fountains of your eyes
because you finally understand the movement of a hand
waving goodbye

hey, they're great songs. i did grow up on the beastie boys, after all.

i'm not going to say much else. besides goodbye.

<3 is your number hahaha
<7. get online.

looking back, and forward... but mostly looking away

im having a terrible life
but i have great days

moving on, then
civics was okay. i was one of nine people who presented.

i love mrs. ward. GH has the best teachers. besides mrs. balconi.

after school! yay!
meredith and i were playing soccer outside but mostly talking, and then michaela came, and then we all went inside and got yelled at and i made a vow to stop eating ramen. then i played guitar for a while and then i waited for nick to leave so i could talk to marion.. that was cool. i miss that.

i don't know what to blog about. everyone's sad. i just wish there was something i could do. i feel torn because someone's happy like JOSH JOSH JOSH LETS DO THIS THING and i just got done wiping the tears of a friend.. and i don't know where to turn. i hate the selfishness surrounding me constantly.

mulligan

NINA:
i changed the bottom. i hope you like it.

civics
vote democratic republican; the future in looking absolutely stunning in tall socks!

english
me: *laughing*
mrs. ward: oh, come on, you know you'll miss me

latin
me: i closed the maze!
aj: don't worry, i still love you

science
me: you have to make the nipple touch the fingers.. prepare to take it out of context!

math
*picks up pencil*
*feels laser vision on my back*

choir
grace mangigian is making me muffins, and i love her

dance
this is the part where sara de-limbs me and performs a complicated series of twists and a strong pelvic thrust. it was very awkward.

after school
i think mrs. topper understands now that i dont go in the woods to make out. or go in the woods. we had a nice talk and i decided to make a bomb with meredith and xavier and jordyn. then i sat around a while on the couches by the front door talking with meredith while nolan and alex did not-so-unintrusive things with viggy's and maya's and jessica's clothes.. it's a great way to waste a personal bubble, but they didnt seem to mind.

then i went out on the soccer field and shot for a while but i had to keep backing up because i kept shooting it over because i was happy [who knows why] and i had a lot of energy.. so i finally got it in and i helped mrs. harper with stuff and made passes at marion and talked about how much nick hates me [which is a lot... and the reasons, since he wont stop, are worth it] and then they were playing hillel. they were doing okay when i saw them but i didn't watch for long.. marion is really really good at soccer.. so are a lot of people, really. the whole team got so much better since i saw them last, on their first game.

then it took me an hour to go home. fun, fun. i'm not looking forward to missing people. give me your phone numbers at school so i can tell you when i am coming back from ohio and we can hang out.

te amo. te cupio.
et amasne...?

hello, beautiful

today it rained a lot. which was cool. just now there was this huge thing of lightning that was really big and red and pretty, and very loud.

after school rocked. sort of. nina and i tried to go outside but mrs topper said that if we were going to make out we would have to do it on our own time. when i said we werent making out [and we werent, i swear] she got very mad and informed us that it was raining. then we went inside and she said that if she didnt have constant sight she would call our parents. i said i had to go to the bathroom and then i asked her if that was okay, that i promised i wouldn't try to escape or anything. that was funny. she almost got very mad but was only a lotta mad instead.

in fact i
cant
stop
falling
out

i
miss
that
stupid
ache


it's a good song.

meghna is going to be in choir. one day she won't be afraid to sing. and then i can hear her.


&&edit


this one, folks, is for meghna..


AHH! AHH! AHH! AHH!

in which i become a pillow in all too many ways

today was a good day, because i am all tired but not from gym. civics was really fun, because mr jones made fun of me a lot and aj and i continued to get his jokes. thats why we are in the front of the room. hopefully maya will learn from us.

diana has to feel better soon.

lets skip to after english.. nick and i talked. i was surprised, he approached me.. so that was really cool because now i think he's okay with how mean and terrible i am =D what a relief..

meghna informed me that ms. ostrander took my book away from her.. because of the title, i'm assuming. it's got "Get Laid!" in the title. don't worry, okay? thats not even what it's about. it's about planning each individual year of your life [2 pages each!]. it is hilarious. i hope i can get it back.

after the girls' soccer practice, i played with marion, anna, and sahar.. but mostly all anna did was try to tickle and hit hit me with things because i stole her water bottle. that was cool. it was a little frustrating because marion is so much better at goalie than i am at shooting. but i still love soccer just as much as i ever did.

among other things..
:
-
"
i got a ride from rachael, so it didn't take me a whole hour to get home, just ten minutes.

i'm so lucky i dont post very much, because people comment like crazy. i feel so loved.

grounded, drama, and a fiery, burning, ice-cold passion

keep this in mind: im not grounded, but several other people are..

so i guess i have to blog about the dance, huh?
it was really cool.. the last dance of the year, and people were going alllll out. and three quarters. so, that was cool. my legs are tired. the master played the milkshake song because mrs gleason wasnt here. but not lose control by missy elliott.. john and i have a DANCE and EVERYTHING. he says he will invite me to some house parties, though, and he will play better songs there.

so that was fun.
i think everyone probably knows all the stuff thats going on, but even if you didnt.. i honestly cant find the words to explain exactly what it is. so check the rumors, i know there are plenty of people talking behind my back because i hear them sometimes.

HEY HEY YOU YOU I AM NOT A VIRGIN teehee

wake up calls and all in the fambly

so today i was woken up at eight because of the guys working on the roof, the head of whom is my cousin jesse. hes pretty cool. but anyways. i woke up and my mom got mad because she thought i slept til one but i was reading and they all got mad... so that wasnt cool. i didnt know we were working too.

so after i came down and ate, i started doing the crappiest job ever, which is picking up tiny bits of shingles from the grass.. no destruction or rebuilding. but i guess someones gotta do it. later i was painting where the gutter ripped, and was standing on ladders with nailguns, with music playing very loud and singing with jesse. he told me stories about nailgun incidents when we were up on the ledge outside my window [which i can go out and sit on now when its nice out]. then my mom made us grilled peanut butter and banana sandwiches to go with leftover chinese food rolled in little burritos. fun stuff, fun stuff.

then i came in and started reading at about seven and promptly fell asleep. i just woke up. no one is online except anna, and i cant get something off my mind. not that anna isnt fun to talk to, of course, but i needed to talk to one or two more people.

so that sucked, now i have that surreal twilight of energy and sadness, that i wholeheartedly have no idea how to describe. oh well.

happy cinco de mayo, everyone.


&&


and even though you still dont care, its getting worse. its getting a fuck of a lot worse.